Change is the only constant in life

If someone told me a couple of years ago that there would be a global pandemic that turns our world upside down, I would have told them that this is not a dystopian novel. Now, I am not so sure. We consume information about more and more violence every day, women are denied their bodily autonomy and wars can be waged without reason.

I remember writing in my slam book in college that I would be settled in life by the time I’m thirty, enjoying cocktails by my poolside. I guess I used to be much more optimistic as a person back then. It’s going to be a year since I quit my corporate job to pursue my master’s, which also translated as putting enough distance so that nagging relatives don’t ask me about getting married. My work ethic was something I took pride in. When I was in eleventh grade, I remember my Tamil teacher telling us he has never been not occupied with something in life, he got his job the same month he finished his studies. I guess it stuck to me. I did the same, got a job right after my studies and worked for 4 years straight. It took me a lot of conversations with my therapist to understand that I never really had a break in my life. That keep-on-winning attitude is eventually going to result in you becoming burnt out.

No Heartbreaks?!

I have been of a belief earlier that when we overload ourselves, often over an emotional outburst like regrets specifically, we break our hearts. Even highly ductile and malleable metals have a breaking point, right? Likewise, I thought it’s okay to take rest and restore whenever there’s an emotional shutdown. At least, that’s how I was.

I sooner or later also realized that regrets keep chasing and we can’t keep shutting down repeatedly for the same issue. ‘Whenever’ was a mistake. A mistake when done once holds some value. But, when it keeps on popping as if there’s no end, it is literally draining. One can’t always choose to rest for the same emotional matter of concern.

Long after this realization dawned, I was told that there can’t be any heartbreaks over regrets, during a conversation with a friend. This assertion made me think. How can a person lose what is loved but not have heartbreak? I explored more on this “no heartbreak” philosophy and that’s when I came across a transcript which I totally enjoyed reading.

Disappearance

“I thought you’d leave me, forever”.

As a new norm, they communicate and discuss their deeply troubling issues in the relationship to strengthen the bond. But, this was totally unexpected. It’s not even a thought that has crossed the poor mind or that could even be imagined!

“After a little fight, your figure disappearing at the end of the street still remains inked in my mind. I hadn’t expected you to leave me then, that too locking me in.”

“I don’t even remember the incident. Which day are you talking about? Is it not a usual thing to lock you in when I go out temporarily so as to not disturb your task?”

One-liner Wednesday #20

Now or Never

There are times when it is better to be late than never just as there are a few other times when too late is way too late, and so, it is better to be never than now.

Credits & Footnote

In response to Linda’s One-liner Wednesday.

Her Nest!

A flash of numerous pictures sequenced. Memories flooded together with sudden twitches. Burdening past, haunting bruises, and overpowering sorrow!

She built a nest inside her. Adorning it with all her jewels, overcoming the restless urges that brought forth the broken episodes of her life, she somehow got

Kid at heart!

Has innocence lost its meaning at present times? We live in a world where even children are deprived of innocence. As young adults, most want to give the illusion that they are older than they actually are. Doesn’t this thought make one consciously lose a valuable virtue?

Facing the fact, it’s really hard to keep the inner child alive as we grow. But, is it not mostly because we want to look mature in the eyes of society? Let’s try recalling an incident when one of our peers would have behaved with innocence, maybe jump in the stairs or walk like a toddler used to. We’d have certainly heard voices about he/she acting weird, naive, or behaving so to grab attention. Why can’t it be considered simply as an act of joy and enjoyment?

Mental Health And A Global Pandemic

It is been a long time since I have posted on this blog. My mental health took a drop in the last couple of months and now that I am in a position to talk about it, I wanted to share my experience. I started working from home in March 2020. It was really exciting initially because I could spend time with my family for an extended period. But as time went on, the lines between personal and professional aspects of my life got blurred. There were days in which I used to work for 14 hours straight. It had a serious impact on my sleep and eating habits. I knew I was in a stressful situation but kept on going without a break.

There’s a concept called spoon theory regarding your mental health. We have 3 pieces of cutlery – spoons, forks, and knives. Spoons represent the energy you can expend today, forks represent the stressors or things that take up your energy and knives represent the energy you have saved up for tomorrow. As the days went on, the number of spoons I had kept on decreasing. When you do not have enough spoons, you start using your knives. One fine day, I was out of spoons and knives and I had my first anxiety attack. The feeling of helplessness and inability to breathe was one of the worst things I have experienced in my life. I knew I could not do it on my own anymore and I reached out for help. I started seeing a therapist.

Stress

I remember a sentence that was shared by a professor, a few years back. He used to tell us interesting facts and historical stories every day for at least 10 minutes.

“I never said she stole my money”.

Now, try reading this statement stressing one word at a time.

➟ I never said she stole my money – Someone else could have said it.

➟ I never said she stole my money – I didn’t say that she stole.

➟ I never said she stole my money – I only implied it or witnessed it.

Loud – Six Word Story #19

It’s better to vent our emotions than dumping them to maintain good mental health.

— STRESS BUSTERS —

Laugh out loud!

Cry out loud!

---

This is in response to ‘The Saturday Six Word Story Prompt’ by Shweta of ‘My Random Ramblings’. The prompt for this week is ‘Loud’.

Masks

Masks have become a nuisance in the present times, even if they are meant to protect us. We are waiting to get rid of those and breathe freely.

But, have we been living mask-free all our life, or at least thought of removing all our masks before? Just ponder over it.

Have you ever faked yourself? Don’t get me wrong but all of us have, at times.

On a lighter note, I wonder if anyone hasn’t faked studying at some point.

Invisible Foe

Disclaimer:
The post is lengthy, around 2000 words, and is not a substitute for any kind of professional medical advice.

For those who’ve made guesses on the title, the invisible enemy is depression and not COVID. The pandemic may end sooner or later but the air of despondency never seems to leave.

I’m deeply affected by the news of Mr. Sushant Singh Rajput’s sudden demise. I’ve adored his movies as well the heights he has reached, and this was out of nowhere. I also got to read his interest in astrophysics, appeal towards tennis, his astonishing bucket list, and talks on his constant learning behaviour. In short, these indicate that he was someone who could pull off many things together and was such an ambitious soul.

“Nobody is actually dead until the ripples they cause in the world die away.“
– Terry Pratchett

Just like how this tragedy popped up discussions on mental health all over the internet, it also triggered me to write this post. However, I don’t want my words to sound like sympathetic music.

Flying Fantasy – TLT #2

Jon often saw himself flying in the air over familiar places with an unexplainable heavy feeling, and wondered if he was supposed to be a fantasy flying creature!

He approached an ‘oneirocritic’, who interpreted the dream as his crave for stability in his otherwise vulnerable life, where situations are slipping out his hand.

Confrontation

Having seen so many distressing experiences of many, also here in the blogging world, I felt compelled to write this post. The timing seems right too – the lock-down and the month of May, which is observed as the Mental Health Awareness Month in the US.

Disclaimer:
The post is lengthy, around 1000 words, and is not a substitute for any kind of medical advice.

What is confrontation?

Confrontation implies hostility. Considering it only on the personal front, it is, in general, disagreement expressed in words between two groups of people.

It need not always be angry or aggressive conflicts. It is something that needs to be addressed urgently in a direct and proactive manner.

When can such situations arise?

The need for confrontation on interpersonal relationships arises mostly as an outcome of intense depression. A major depressive episode may occur once, very rarely with long intervals, or may return repeatedly when any simple incident triggers your worst memories.

The troubles could be based on a relationship issue – mutual misunderstanding, infidelity, disagreements – or even childhood fears.

Is it okay to confront someone who’s close to you?

Many of us fear confrontations, or go to an extreme extent to avoid them completely. This stage could even be an upshot of your own insecurities with the person concerned or the fear of losing them.

The person to be confronted could be to parents, siblings, better-half, friends or even colleagues.

By confronting, you’re not going to kill each other. You know that the people concerned are important ones in your journey. So, consider it as an opportunity to mend broken ties and strengthen your linkages.

“When we speak, we are afraid our words will not be heard or welcomed. But when we are silent, we are still afraid. So, it’s better to speak”.
– Audre Lorde

Often a simple exchange of words mends hearts than prolonged silence. Don’t ever hesitate to be the one to break the silence.

Should you really confront?

Confrontation is the last step to clear your depressed mind.

Confrontation demands courage. You’ve to break all your self-doubts. There’s nothing wrong in