I have been of a belief earlier that when we overload ourselves, often over an emotional outburst like regrets specifically, we break our hearts. Even highly ductile and malleable metals have a breaking point, right? Likewise, I thought it’s okay to take rest and restore whenever there’s an emotional shutdown. At least, that’s how I was.
I sooner or later also realized that regrets keep chasing and we can’t keep shutting down repeatedly for the same issue. ‘Whenever’ was a mistake. A mistake when done once holds some value. But, when it keeps on popping as if there’s no end, it is literally draining. One can’t always choose to rest for the same emotional matter of concern.
Long after this realization dawned, I was told that there can’t be any heartbreaks over regrets, during a conversation with a friend. This assertion made me think. How can a person lose what is loved but not have heartbreak? I explored more on this “no heartbreak” philosophy and that’s when I came across a transcript which I totally enjoyed reading.
A line from what the speaker said…
“To yield and not break, that is incredible strength.”
These are the words of Hannah Gadsby, an Australian comedian, in her show Nanette.
They kinda align with my friend’s words too. My inner voice began a new thread, “Oh! As we are humans, are we not the replicas of metals which don’t tolerate extremes? Are humans designed to tolerate everything but not break as well? But, don’t we need a break when the heart breaks? How can we not break at all?”
I couldn’t arrive at a conclusion soon. It was really confusing. But, my previous belief evolved at some point. I say evolved because it still hasn’t changed totally. Why should regrets or failures break us when there’s some incredible strength within each of us? Maybe, there are no heartbreaks actually. But regrets, they exist, and it is also perfectly okay to have them.
Regret can be a good sign in a person who questions their actions and is willing to do a course correction. It implies that they’re not broken. But only whining over them can’t be virtuous, and that’s what creates heartbreak. Letting them pop up often is just like owing a leaky wall that doesn’t stop crying even after repair. We need incredible strength to suppress that emotional leak, or to demolish it and build a new resisting one, and I believe we all have that. Start this week looking inwards for the hidden parts of it, and assure that our hearts won’t break (easily).